Finding the Balance Between Being Nice & Being Strict in the Workplace

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone has the tendency to be nice. Nice is good, but is there such thing as being too nice as a boss? What do I mean by this? A too nice of a boss means that he/she is always agreeable, always flexible, and always ‘okay’ with your work (regardless of missing deadlines, likenesses, etc…) I’ve heard this quite a lot in a working environment where employees comment on a certain individual that he/she is too nice.

I decided to do a little digging and find out more. Doing some research with Human Resources (HR), and checking some references. I found out that it is always the ‘nice’ bosses that have the worst employee team record which includes:

  1. 65% Late attendance
  2. 70% Absenteeism
  3. 35% Emergency leave during work, and etc…
  4. 80% Less work pressure
  5. 77% Missed deadlines

I, myself, was called a nice boss in my earlier work experience and noticed that my employees tend to play a bit more than everyone else. Being late was a tad bit more frequent, sudden step-outs of the office was also repetitive, in fact I noted a trend. I was even able to predict their outcomes, for example if one of the ladies came in without any makeup, started coughing, and announced every 10 minutes that they had a headache, I knew that the request to leave early was due any minute, and I also knew that I was not seeing that employee the day after as a text will be sent to me first thing in the morning informing me of their leave of absence.

Illustration by SYAC

What would you do in such a situation? Believe them? Accuse them of lying? Or simply let it go?

If you’re mandated by the HR in your organization to abide by the laws and regulations (policies) in your organization then for every employee being late and absent you (THE manager) will therefore be questioned. For example, in some work sectors you have to file a monthly report of your employees’ records on their achievements, timings, attendance, etc…

I have sat down with the employees, explained the policies, and even sent out some warning letter on lateness, yet still the same cycle goes on repeating itself. When I am harsh, and allow for my anger to rise, it is still the same reaction. Then what would you call this? Disrespect of authority?

To contradict myself, if I was a boss that’s too strict, I don’t think I want the employees to have an element of fear in the office either. It’s important that you maintain a good relationship with your employees, and have them fear you out of respect, yet not be petrified of you.

Let me give you an example, I was afraid of my boss. I didn’t dare go ask him to leave early to the bank (for emergency) because I’d rather let the emergency slide than bow down and hear him shout ‘no’ with a menacing glare, but is it worth it when I miss the emergency errand I really had to take?

This boss was not flexible under any circumstances. You had to be at work at 8am. You had to leave at 4pm sharp. You don’t work on weekends. If you’re out in a meeting, then you’re expected back in the office. I understand that some individuals like to abide by rules, but there should always be some room for flexibility.

We are all human. You can’t be too nice, and you can’t be too strict. There should be some balance in between. Be flexible when it is needed, yet be strict when you feel that it’s needed as well. This is a lessons learned for me.

I would love to hear your comments, examples, and how you changed your attitude towards making a good work environment.

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4 Comments

  • Okay, I can take one whole day discussing this matter from my experience, so my comment is kinda long I hope it doesn't get boring to the reader. (The reply will be splitted into several comments)

    I think everything starts from day one, In general, all managers must try to come up with their own set of rules, policies, processes for their department as they step into office in their first week or 2 or a month Max. By Having a group meeting he/she must explain in detail how he/she wants the department to be run in all areas (attendance, administration, changes, projects, processes etc).

    The manager can also consider distrubuting presentation slides to all employees during the meetings and later on sticking the policies and processes to a wall in the department where it can be visible to everyone, I know it sounds kinda stupid but then this will only show how determined the manager is and how much he/she believes in what should be done. Also upload all documents in some kind of online portal where everyone can have access to it and communicate that to all employees once a month, so that they don't come to you saying they did not know that an online portal even existed haha)

  • During this meeting, as per what this article speaks of, message signals of balancing between strictness and flexibility should be sent to the employees brains (either by having a strong tone or by throwing good face expressions or mixing both together, which ever makes the manager more comfortable).

    The manager must also consider giving himself/herself a span of a couple of months to see how effectively the changes are being following by the employees. 1 to 2 months for things like attendance and admin and other minor things, and 3 to 6 months for other policies and processes that takes a more gradual approach for it to be followed and can only be 80 to 90% followed by employees after a minimum of 6 months or so. if there are improvements then that is a good sign and he should wait and see how much more it'll improve in a year or so. And it is also extremely important to have a monthly meeting with the core team members to discuss the same.

    (please note: Monthly meetings and NOT weekly meetings to discuss the matters, weekly meetings will only make things worse and it will show how impatient the manager is and then everything will fall out of hand).

  • Incase let us say the manager didn't find any improvements during the first 2 to 3 months then that is when the manager should be taking the Temporary 'HITLER' approach which is basically 'MY way or the HIGH way'. And believe me, there is no harm or guilt in doing that if you have already clarrified how you want the department to be managed with a cristal clear comunication plan from day one. Keeping everything into consideration, the manager should always be alert on one thing, Avoiding (Hot Temperness and shouting) as much as possible and the best is to avoid it entirely.

    This way I guarentee that things can go smoothly with the help of Allah.

    To conclude, well I don't know about others, but personally I would choose this approach and at the same time ATTawakul on Allah, is the only way to go about it (while giving it your best ofcourse)

    :)

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