By Fatma Bujsaim (@FatmaBujsaim)
My column turns one year-old this month and since it focuses on undergrad issues, I thought long and hard of the one issue or topic that was always popping up in the past four years (Yes, this is my senior year). The topic is: marriage.
Many college girls around me are obsessed with the idea of getting married and almost half that number of girls does not actually want to. I only say this out of observation and after asking many questions and getting involved in many discussions.
I remember when I was in school I was anti-marriage; I planned to be single all my life and live to fulfill my dreams alone with no one to stop me or even share them with me. Selfish, I know, but for a teenager it made a lot of sense.
In university, I saw my friends getting married one after the other. I started having mixed feelings towards the issue. Is it a good idea? Isn’t it a lifetime commitment? And why would a girl want to be tied down at such an early age?
Some theories came up in my mind that could and could not be true. Some just want a man in their lives, some can not handle the pressure of seeing people around them getting married, and some just want the thrill of getting married.
Fatma M., a business student in Zayed University, says she has no problem in getting married when she is still an undergraduate student; in fact, she wants to. Her reason is: “I am young, and I want to start my life and my own family at a young age when I have the patience and energy for it.”
I also wanted to know why some girls were against marriage; were their reasons like mine when I was younger?
Amna A.’s answer to being married during her studies was a “never.” “I wont be able to focus on my studies. I mean, I am not married yet and I am already having trouble balancing between spending time with my family and friends and university.”
Shamma M. agrees with Amna, “When I am at university, marriage is the last thing on my mind because personally, I can not balance a household and a degree.”
Both Amna and Shamma were asked if they would consider marriage after university. Amna responded by saying: Not immediately after graduation; I am still young and if I get married, it is forever. I will be in the “golden cage”.
Shamma said: I am career driven and I have this image that marriage will set me back. It is going to be either a career or marriage since I cannot multitask. Personally, I would rather have a career.
Their answers made a lot of sense but I had to disagree. There is a saying in Arabic “who wants to pray will not miss the prayer”, and if someone wants to get married and have a career, they can do it.
I do not think girls should get married at a very young age but I also do not think they should be opposing the idea of marriage. Some girls are mature enough to get married during their university education and are capable of handling the responsibilities while others understand their own abilities and limits and decide to keep marriage aside and prioritize their own education/career.
Sail eMagazine’s 20th Issue – November 2011
Here we start – Art of Living 101 – Beyond Inspiration
Blunders of a Wannabe Entrepreneur – Just Another Undergrad – Society of Tomorrow
Too Blunt for Words – To The Point – Words, Observations, and Ramblings
After graduating with a Bachelor degree in International Studies and a minor in converged media, Fatma still finds herself hungry for knowledge, which led to her enrolling in a postgraduate program. Her passion for both reading and writing has made her extend her stay in Sail eMagazine so that she can learn & develop her skills. When not buried in her books and novels, Fatma is found on tennis courts or in a classroom learning a new language.
She wrote her previous column: “Just another undergrad” hoping she can give what she didn’t have when she was a freshman: comfort and guidance, and also bring back memories to all those graduates out there. She wonders if things are going to be the same after graduation.
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