Bahar is a recruiter by profession, an aspiring writer by night, and a mom of toddler twins. She has an unending thirst for learning, as she completed her BComm in Canada, an MA in Dubai, and continues to develop herself with reading and research.
With her column, she shares her journey as she grows and learns more about this crazy beautiful world we live in.
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Weddings should not have to be about pomp and glory, but rather an intimate celebration of a couple’s union and their transition into married life.
Weddings are seen as a major milestone, despite all other achievements that people may have accomplished in their lives. Marriage is also seen in the context of the Islamic faith as the fulfilling half of one’s faith. For many, the wedding day is an occasion that they have been looking forward to all their lives. Particularly for many females, weddings can be an occasion that they have been dreaming about since childhood along with the fairy tales they may have watched or read about. So when the big day finally happens, people tend to get excited making this fairy tale turn into reality. However, with such grand expectations in mind, the reality may not always stack up to that vision.
There is a lot of pressure on brides as they not only have to plan their own fairy tale wedding, but also ensure that it lives up to the expectations of their families and society. In today’s world where social media dominates, it has become even more daunting for bride-to-be’s, and as such, demands have escalated. Wedding planning can be a tedious event, with couples stressing over minute details, causing them to argue over centerpieces and lighting, and other factors that really are not worth fighting over.
These demands and societal pressures not only affect people in this region, but the world over. As a result, the term “bridezilla” came about to describe bride-to-be’s who have unreasonable demands and want whatever their heart desires for their big day. While in the west, it is usually common for the bride’s family to take care of the wedding expenses, being a ‘bridezilla’ may be more warranted. However, in our culture, it is customary for the groom’s family to manage the expenses. This is where challenges could arise if the bride and groom do not see eye to eye on the wedding arrangements. The pressure builds up on the groom and his family to live up to the expectations that the bride has set for the big day.
Wedding planners also take advantage and feed on this for profit by allowing the bride (or couple) to indulge in having this grand wedding, which no doubt costs a fortune. That is a major problem, as weddings can be very expensive and can burn the pockets of couples and their families, as they set out to have an extravagant and larger than life wedding. People go into debt to plan their wedding days and that is definitely not the best way to start off life as a married couple.
While a wedding is indeed a significant occasion and couples deserve to celebrate this special day, it is important to see the big picture and not fret over the wedding planning and arrangements, but rather what comes after. Weddings can be intimate affairs to mark a couple’s transition into married life, and this can be done without all the pomp and glory that we have become so accustomed to. The ultimate goal must be what comes after the wedding – a lifetime of marriage. This is what truly needs the couple’s energy and efforts, and what they should be looking forward to and planning for.
Couples must remember to just enjoy the moment and celebrate their union with friends and family. In the years to come, they may not remember that the flowers were not the right colors, or the music was not lively enough, but what they will remember is how much fun they had being young, in love, and eager to start off a new chapter in their life.