By Fatma AlKhaja (@fay_alkhaja)
I fairly believe that this topic of indecent attires in the malls, public places, and such has been used and abused in the past few months, but this month, I would like to discuss the office attires, and how truly indecent some of them are, but what I am looking for is more of a solution rather than just discussing it.
I love this phrase that the Open Majlis has used in a blog written in September, “You have all been there. You have probably witnessed the sight countless times that caused you to stop dead in your tracks. Your jaw falls and your eyes widen as you watch in utter disbelief.”
Okay, I would expect to see half naked/indecently dressed people when I walk in a mall, park, or even on the streets, but am I expected to see this in the office? I have seen the short skirts, low hanging pants, see-through shirts, revealing shirts, tight clothes that are screaming for mercy, Hawaiian shirts, and clothes that you simply do not wear out of bed. So I ask myself, do I really have to endure this level of uneasiness and be surrounded by this kind of attire?
I was in a meeting once with a few people, and one of them was wearing one of those see-through shirts with her undergarments underneath showing perfectly, and I know for a fact that not a single man in that room listened to a word she had said. Not only that, but the one next to her was wearing something so tight, like it was painted on her.
As an Emirati who has values, respects cultural sensitivity, and knows when something is wrong, do I need to be in that useless meeting where I know for sure that there will be no positive outcome/result out of it? Why do I have to put up with being somewhere that is making me uncomfortable? Last but not least, this is a company that has a base in the UAE, do the rules of how-to-dress change based on where you are established?
When that incident occurred, I raised it to the management, discussed a dress code, and went to the legal department. The whole process took around two weeks, and a policy was drafted. However, sadly that policy was never distributed nor taken seriously because the management was not Emirati, and they simply said, “Why shall we make our staff uncomfortable? This will lessen their productivity.”
My sarcastic moment came out and I simply said: “So wearing a loose pant that barely covers your rear, will definitely boost productivity and enrich those brain cells.”
Again I ask: why do I have to put my eyes through seeing such indecency flaunted in front of me?
Moving along, when I had my own employees, we had a senior meeting and I could not attend, so I had asked one of the senior members to attend on my behalf, and this person told me, “I am sorry I cannot. I am not dressed professionally to be in a senior meeting.”
I simply told that person that regardless of how you are dressed, working in a professional environment requires you to always wear professional clothing. If you are not dressed professionally, then you will have to bear the consequences of being embarrassed in that meeting.
My fellow readers, enough discussions for we have done a lot of it. I want a solution. When will organisations wake up and take this seriously. Or better yet, when will we enforce staff members that this is a ‘must’ and not something that we might tolerate.
My best friend works in an international firm based in the UAE. She wears an abaya and sheila, but is mandated to wear a dark suit beneath it all the time, regardless of that she is already covered by an Emirati traditional garment as she represents an international firm. This is an excellent example, and we are the ones who should lead it, not others. We are born and based here, yet we allow individuals to take it easy.
Manuals/booklets should be passed onto employees when they join any organisations; this should be enforced by the government, dictating what is decent, and what not. We cannot leave it open-ended for the organisations to guess what perceives decent or not.
We should stop complaining, and start thinking of ways to fix this. I welcome any ideas, or suggestions to improve this.
22nd Issue – January 2012
Here We Start – Art of Living 101 – Beyond Inspiration
Blunders of a Wanna Be Entrepreneur – Community Talk – Scenes from Life
Sense and Sustainability – Too Blunt For Words – To The Point
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It is hard and you're right but let's be honest nothing is going to change, I believe we should stop wearing the abaya, I mean its about freakin time, we're not "veiled" when we have bangs showing now are we? Let's take a moment and be honest, we are in 2012, the world is changing and I honestly feel it is silly to walk around in an abaya. What for? 90% of local guys are marrying foreigners not because they are "prettier" but because they look like normal women. It is not fair for us as "local" girls to endure the hogwarts like abaya and look like freaks. Why? Because we are "local"? I don't see the men carrying swords around? Seriously this has to stop, girls in abayas with bangs and hair showing?? Come on.. That's not religon that's bullshit. I believe it should be a personal choice and we should stop this. Other than Saudi Arabia who are "forced" to we are the only GCC country who does that.. What's the point of burj khalifa if we look like we belong in the 16th century? I don't see westerners dressed as knight? Yes traditions are nice but they belong in a museum NOT today's world. I'm not saying we should dress in a slutty way all I'm saying we should at least be ABLE to wear what normal people are wearing. Enough IS ENOUGH.
I thank that you took the time to reply to my article, however, do note that while reading your comment I was trying to understand how relevant it was to the said article.
Take a moment, and think of your sentence – ‘we’re not veiled when we have our bangs showing’; isn’t it the same when you have someone wearing a full covered clothes (long shirt with a pants), but have their bangs showing underneath their scarves? An abaya is our tradition, something we’re proud to wear. Yes, I do agree that some designs can be extreme, but it’s only a rarity that you find such a thing. Today you have a lot of designs to choose from (Hogwarth like or not…) .
I tend to disagree that the year we live in has anything to do with us wearing an abaya. If 90% of locals are marrying foreigners, it is for other factors such as expenditures, dowry, and other over excessive items, and not because they look abnormal.
[Continue 1/2]
Your comment has gone into asking about what’s fair, or not. No one forces you to wear an abaya, it is a norm here that society chooses to abide by. Neither does an abaya depict religion if it’s not worn properly. Religion states that you should cover well, regardless of what you wear.
There are a lot of girls nowadays that properly wear their religious sheila/scarves without an abaya, therefore, if you don’t want to wear it then don’t. Keep something in mind – the abaya or however you dress is a personal choice, freedom of mind, ec..) You seem to think a lot about what others (westerners, foreigners, etc..) think of it?
My comment to you would be, ‘do we really care what others think?’ I wear this because I like it. I’m comfortable in, and it defines my personality and where I come from.
[End 2/2]
Fatima, surely the comment "do we really care what others think" is the essence of the original post. You clearly do care what others think, or at least you care what you think (if you see what I mean). The problem with a willingness to mix societal norms is where to draw the lines, and to get everyone to agree on them. That can be done by legislation, as say in Saudi, but it's much better for the long term to get everyone to buy into the same set of norms (I don't care to use the loaded term 'values'). And no, I have no idea how to do this; though I have to say that in my own company we have a formal dress code that allows for may acceptable styles but specifically prohibits others. So maybe it's as simple as educating management?
I really liked the article and the cute picture! I agree that many people dress improperly in this country (some Muslim women included- like those with open abayas (or without) and very tight clothes underneath, accessorized with hot shoes, nails and make up). To me it's just lack of common sense (stupidity? arrogance?) don't they realize it's an ARABIC, MUSLIM country after all? It's so inconsiderate towards many Muslim people here. Don' t they feel uneasy when in the company of fully veiled women, or bearded Muslim men (and many other Muslims and nonMuslims as well), whom they make feel awkward with their cleavages and naked legs, or bottoms in tight or see through clothes…
Nobody's forcing nonmuslims to wear hijab here. They are free to wear whatever they want within the frames of decency. Why vulgarity in a Muslim country? It's simply disrespectful and stupid. There's plenty of decent, beautiful, rather modest clothes available.
Regarding Salama's comment that local men marry foreign women because they look like normal women… I disagree with this opinion. Otherwise why do same men insist that their foreign wives wear abaya and sheila after marriage? Almost all foreign wives wear abaya here. It means their husband like abaya and women in abaya, and marry foreigners for different reasons, not because of abaya.
True said on the first part.
For the second, I have mentioned that local men marrying non-muslims have a lot of other factors included.
and it's even more stupid to dress immodestly to work. At least when we see such a person in a public place or on the street, we can simply turn away, move away, go into a different direction. But at workplace there's nowhere to run, especially if the woman (or man) keeps dressing that way day after day. Can be quite emberassing and uncomforable for people working with her/him
Thank you for your comment.
Kindly note that my concerns where mostly for people dressed in the office. If I am to walk to in a mall, and see an indecent dressed person I can choose to point that person to the security or simply do the cowardly thing and walk away.
Walking away is not something I would choose to do in an office where I am breathing, living there more than my own home. Educating management is the key, but what do you do when they don’t cooperate? Where do you go? Whom do you speak to?
I’ve been brought up within my religion, and sets of values. One, I choose not to ignore. In the office, I am constantly interacting with people who are dressed like that. Why should I be in a meeting room with a half dressed woman who all the men are staring at the whole time? It would make anyone uncomfortable.
Why would a man sitting on a chair with his rear out be there in the first place? That would make anyone uncomfortable.
What if a senior member/board member was strolling about the area? How would/could you explain the situation?
Let’s be clear on one thing. What I’m discussing are not norms. I am discussing office decency. Everyone’s been brought up with sets of rules that you can never choose to play ignorant and not know of it. For example, Bermuda not allowed in office, low hanging pants not allowed, wearing a beach attire fully well knowing that you won’t be allowed to even wear that in public, etc…
I hope that we can manage to make the office attire better in the future.
Again truly.
You are breathing and living with these people. One that you cannot ignore.
There's a total lack of respect for both themselves and others if women are walking around with their boobs, butts and bare legs bursting out for attention.
Why would a woman want some dirty man oogling her like she's a piece of meat especially during a business meeting? Its degrading to women that her flesh is her worth! There is a whole industry that profits from sexualising women
@ Salama, being modest and moral has nothing to do with what century we are living in. Its a scientific fact that men are more visual than women and they think about the naughty stuff upteen times a day! Dressing modestly is firstly liberating for the women in that she is valued for her intelligence and not her looks. Secondly you can go about your day without soliciting unwanted attention.
Like Alice said, you know the UAE is a Muslim country. However there's no point in having a hijaab on your head when you have clothes that look they have been painted on. Its all about modesty..and who defines what modest is? As a Muslim its my creator not man, the fashion designers nor media influence who defines the best dress code for me!
I finish with this quote " ‘’Man in early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved, he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilisation that man has achieved, and it’s not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is a regression back to the ancient times’’ – Tawakkul Karman (Noble Peace Prize winner dubbed the ‘’mother of the Yemen revolution’’ when asked by western journalists why she wears Hijab and how it is not proportionate with her level of intellect and education).