You’re Perfect, I Love You, Now Change

If you’re a fan of musicals and Broadway shows, you must have come across the musical that holds the name of this article’s title. This award-winning musical comedy stages several scenes on love and relationships, but that’s not what this article’s diving into. The main character here is the title itself.

When I first heard about this musical, I was fascinated by what it’s called: “You’re Perfect, I Love You, Now Change”. It was so profound that I had a slew of questions popping in my head to grasp its greater meaning; “How could a person be perfect?” and “If I loved someone, why would I want them to change?”

Its allure and the answers to all my questions lay in the elaborating words “perfect” and “change”.

We’re all aware of the fact that nobody is perfect and no one is considered complete. You and I have our shortcomings, and no matter how great and flawless a person is deemed to be, that only means they’ve skillfully hidden their imperfections.

Although the “nobody is perfect” notion is a winning argument, we still hear people chirping “you’re perfect!” or “s/he’s perfect for me!” If we pondered more on this flattery, we would see that the acknowledgement here is not on the seamless abundance of the opposite person’s character, but rather on the unimpaired acceptance of the first person of the other. What I mean is:

If I had a friend who I consider “perfect”, then what I have in mind is that I wholly accept them as a person. That is, I’d adore them for better or worse.

Though we see our friends, colleagues, or partners as perfect, we still implicitly ask them to “change”.

A daunting thought, but a true one at that. To put things in perspective, it’s important to know that there’s a difference between changing the enduring parts of a person (which is impossible), and changing the acquired traits in them. Rather than asking them to change feelings and innate attributes; as these represent their uniqueness, which are probably what attracted us to them in the first place; we’re focusing on attitudes based on acquired knowledge or imitated behavior and looking at improving what they’re already good at and unique in.

In the end, if I were to briefly explain the meaning of the famous musical’s title, I’d simply reiterate:“You’re Great, I Accept You, Now Be Better”.