Like It Or Not, Happiness Is Temporary

In an age of moral correctness, let us not give into the notion that enforces happiness as the only acceptable state of mind.

“Which pill would you choose?” he asked. I hummed as I scanned through the pill chart displayed in front of me by a colleague; each pill reassembled a wish one of which was “Always being happy”. I replied as I went through the chart: ”I won’t need that one, that’s for sure” and chose the “Get Rich” pill. He thought for a second and replied with a pensive “No”, rejecting my answer. “Always being happy” to him was as achievable as “Get Rich”. As I tried explaining that eternal happiness was not a sane goal, I realized that his rejection was based on a misunderstanding of happiness and a result of living in an age of moral correctness.

Happiness is generally understood as a mood[1]. Moods are temporary states of well-being that experience emotion such as joy, while emotions are a result of moods and are shorter lived; in other words, “Moods are the seasons and emotions are the weather. You can have a sunny day in winter, but it’s still winter.”[2]  Happiness is also understood as an emotion to some, but to agree upon what happiness is, is not the goal here. Whether happiness is a mood or an emotion doesn’t change the fact that some seek happiness as a constant state of being which is unachievable nor realistic.

The problem with understanding happiness as a constant state rather than a temporary one is that it promotes a lower tolerance to all the non-happy states of mind we naturally face as a result of being alive; for example:

1. We don’t want to feel the sadness of loss, but that sadness means we had someone worth mourning.
2. We don’t want to feel disappointment while disappointment meant that we are not yet hopeless; we had hope and to have hope is to have something worth living for.

Some may mistakenly believe that happiness is the natural state of mind, while nothing is more natural than sadness when someone passes away or disappointment when letting down. It doesn’t make us lesser nor weaker humans to endure emotional highs and lows; it makes us more human. In fact, it would be mentally worrisome not to feel. To endure emotional numbness or even a form of advanced mental torture is to somehow prevent humans from feeling anything at all, to feel emotionally disassociated with life around us as if to not react at all to the trials and rewards of life.

It’s been evident how the absence of fear can create sociopaths as in the case of Richard Kuklinski aka The Iceman, a contract killer who stated during his prison interview that he did not feel fear which was a prominent factor creating his ruthless reputation as a killer. Mania, constant excitement and euphoria, has the constant emotions of happiness (a mood) but it by no means possible is a natural state of mind.

So, if only Richard K. could have felt fear (a non-happy emotion) or those battling mania could feel emotional lows, we would have a little fewer murders and a little more mentally stable people on earth. In an age of moral correctness, let us not forget what is actually normal and remember that we should acknowledge both our emotions and moods in the pursuit of creating a mentally healthy lifestyle rather than an emotionally avoidant understanding and encourage an emotionally courageous lifestyle where we experience the highs and lows.

References:

[1] DOBRIN.A. (2018, October 18). Feeling Happy and Being Happy Aren’t the Same. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com

[2] McDonald. K. What’s Your Mood like Today? Retrieved from  http://overcomingsocialanxiety.com