Self-Deprecating Humor: The Good and The Bad

Self-deprecating humor is the new normal in our lives. How does such humor reveal secrets about your self-perception? How can you use such humor to your advantage, and how to avoid the risks that come with it?

We tend to find humorous people inherently funny, even lucky, to be born with the natural gift of humor. But inspected carefully, humor is a skill that can be honed and developed. Of the many types of humor, self-deprecating humor is becoming increasingly popular, in which the target of the joke is the self. “My life can’t fall apart if I never had it together” and “haha anyone who can tolerate me for a second is a mystery to me” are some such examples. We laugh at our most shameful secrets and are comforted by their universality. However, when indulged in sabotaging our self-esteem, these jokes can prove dangerous.

Self-deprecating humor has, in many instances, proved its convenience. It is not afraid of looking disappointments straight in the eye. We often know that the impact of our straightforward commentary can be painful. We, therefore, resort to provide entertaining, rather than offensive, remarks. The craft of comically exaggerating a matter can offer some relief that the issue at hand is not that bad. It has also proved its practicality in other, somewhat serious, areas of life. For example, researchers found that funny antismoking adverts on YouTube, in which smokers are light-heartedly mocked for allowing cigarettes to control their lives, positively associated with increased viewing ratings. In communicating health messages, such humor is advantageous by reducing negative reactance from a target audience who may otherwise perceive the message as threatening.

Periodically, however, who we really are makes its presence felt in our jokes. Self-deprecating humor, when used correctly, can be a powerful tool, but when used as a self-defense mechanism to mask our low self-esteem, it can do harm. We fear to seem immodest. It is, therefore, a lot easier to put ourselves down in response to a compliment than to utter two simple words: thank you. Studying your behavior can help you understand this potential problem. Do your jokes reflect your self-perception? A good litmus test will be asking yourself if your comment is making the receiver feel burdened to compliment you. If it does, then know that your self-mockery is only counterproductive. Does your comment make the opposite person laugh? Or does your punch line make them quiet with discomfort? Self-deprecating humor can prove to be a problem if you catch yourself using them even when nobody is around to hear them.

Break your habits of self-belittling by practicing saying thank you in response to a compliment, however unnatural it may sound to you. If you find yourself guilty of self-deprecating consistently and unfailingly, you can begin by accepting the initial intention of making a light-hearted joke. Replace your thoughts with positive remarks. Self-disparaging should be cautiously used around individuals who deal with any mental health problems, and also around children. Children in their first years should grow up around individuals who wholly accept themselves.

A person who uses self-deprecating humor is walking a fine line between delivering humor and developing self-hate. We must learn healthier ways to communicate our modesty. We must reflect upon our jokes, and the impact they may leave on our self-image if not regularly assessed. It is essential to ensure that our jokes aim to accept our imperfections and not to exacerbate our insecurities.

Reference:

Paek, H.-J., Hove, T., & Jeon, J. (2013). Social media for message testing: A multilevel approach to linking favorable viewer responses with message, producer, and viewer influence on YouTube. Health Communication, 28, 226–236.