Mothers often feel a pang of emptiness and frustration when they start breastfeeding; this situation has a medical term that many are unaware of and have to struggle with it.
For the longest time, we have spoken about the positive effects of breastfeeding babies. However, we rarely talk or are informed about the pain, anxiety, and struggle that come to mothers who breastfeed. Although breastfeeding is indeed a beautiful experience that is full of bonding, snuggles, love, and smiles, it is a laborious commitment. Sometimes the act of feeding itself can develop anxiety in new mothers, and many are left unaware of a condition that could introduce guilt and other psychological problems.
It was two months after I gave birth to my baby that I realized a sudden emptiness every time I fed. My stomach would fall into a pit and tears would stream down whenever it was time to feed. For me, the feeling disappeared by the time my child was three months old. So, I brushed it off under the carpet as most women do. However, a small percentage of women who face this feeling face it for several months up to a year. People may confuse this sensation with baby blues or postnatal depression, but this may not be entirely psychological but physiological. It is important to keep in mind that it is different from postnatal depression. However, the physiological changes along with other changes in the body can lead to psychological effects.
Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) is an uneasy condition that lactating women face. It is characterized by negative emotions that occur just before milk release and does not usually last for more than a few minutes [1]. Therefore, it is medically proven that when a woman starts feeding, the letdown releases more of the milk-producing hormone (prolactin). This then reduces the reward hormone, dopamine [2]. Perhaps the hormonal changes cause dysphoria. The gradual sadness, restlessness, anxiety, and irritability are not controllable by the mother.
During a few of my feeding sessions, the letdown phase was immensely frustrating and left me in tears. I thought it was normal and assumed it was baby blues and postnatal depression. It wasn’t until I came across a mothers’ forum that I realized a few others are experiencing the same.
It is essential to clarify that this is not an aversion from breastfeeding. It is a momentary sensation that occurs with every feeding session. For some, these symptoms are mild, and for some, they may be excessive. Obviously, with proper medical help, each situation can be assessed.
D-MER is not widely spoken about, so most women are unable to seek proper help. You see, like many mental health problems that remain misunderstood, this too remains misunderstood. D-MER may co-exist with other mental health problems [1]. A small part of the problem lies in the lack of support and awareness; it is because of this that women are unable to talk about how they are feeling.
Women need to understand how the sudden inappropriate decrease in dopamine can leave them with a brief wave of negative emotions. The fact that most women confuse this condition with other psychological conditions itself proves that often mothers are left in the dark about this. If only mothers were well-informed of the possible experiences and changes, along with being told that they aren’t crazy to feel this way, it could alleviate the stress and guilt. A lot of the times, this guilt pushes its way in when moms are unaware of physiological aspects that are making them feel this way. All mothers need support and a whole lot of awareness.
References:
[1] Pearson-Glaze, P. (2017, August 14). Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, D-MER. Retrieved July, from https://breastfeeding.support/dysphoric-milk-ejection-reflex-d-mer/
[2] D-MER organization. (2019). D-MER. Retrieved from https://d-mer.org/
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