Terrible Twos and its Blues

Two months ago, we hit the two-year mark our the toddler. As much as we were excited, we were unaware of what is coming up. Having heard of terrible two’s, we underestimated how bad it could be. Some of the other parents did warn us with ‘oh, terrible two’s!’ but we brushed it off in confidence that we have trained the child well. Little did we know that we were in for an emotional ride.

A month into our toddler’s 2^nd year , it felt like we had been in the phase for an eternity! Here is the reality: what comes with the 2-year mark is heavily emotional on both the parents. As much as you think you have put rules and routines into place, the children’s little brains feel otherwise. The tribble twos can occur between 18 to 30 months of age and may last in the third year of life (Healthline Parenthood, 2020). By the age of two, they attempt to do things on their own and as they desire. However, when they find out an adult is needed for many things, frustration sets in (Arora, 2018). When they are unable to find satisfaction through a sense of independence, they feel an array of emotions. These emotions are often expressed in temper tantrums. So, there is a possibility of battling a tantrum every hour. This includes extreme screaming, rolling around on the floor, crying hysterically, and continuous clinginess.

“Don’t give in!” is the topmost advice received. However, personally, trying not to give in has turned me into a monster hysterically crying for peace behind a closed bathroom. The tantrums and fits are partly the problems. The anxiety and frustration within me stem from the continuity of those tantrums. Many parents might relate. In an attempt to resolve one demand in exchange for a moment of peace, another demand falls into place. Hence, fulfilling that is simply impossible, and so the tantrum restarts. The cycle of endless tantrums is equally maddening for the parent.

It is the domino effect with the child and the parent. One maddening tantrum leads to another, but at the same time, parents’ tolerance level falls after every tantrum. As a parent, the blood starts boiling, heart racing, rage infuriating, mind sending all sorts of negative signals, and the heart simply wanting to cry. Despite that, you still have to tackle it. Psychologists suggest the best way to tackle this is to ensure a routine is in place. In fact, the consistency in routine is integral to their frustration levels. Often when a child is sleepy or hungry, they are likely to throw more temper tantrums. Therefore, it is also suggested that situations that may trigger frustration should be avoided. Anything that triggers a lack of expression or inability to communicate in kids is likely to make them angry. Therefore, it’s better to carry out chores when a child is well fed and well napped! Also, in my ample research, I have learned one thing: communication is significant! Child psychologists suggest teaching as many keywords as possible to ensure they are able to express their emotions.

The stage does get better as the child learns to communicate. However, it is too overwhelming and chaotic for parents in the situation to find strategic solutions every time. If you are a parent who sometimes gives in for a moment of peace, don’t let the guilt get you. Do what ultimately makes you happy. Happy parents make happy kids. The phase is bound to get better gradually!

References:

Arora, M. (2018). Terrible Twos- Causes, Signs, and Parenting Tips. Retrieved from FirstCry Parenting: https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/terrible-twos-causes-signs-and-parenting-tips/

Healthline Parenthood. (2020). What to Expect from the Terrible Twos. Retrieved from Healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/terrible-twos