“What’s next?” she asked me as our conversation drew to a close.
“I’m shifting to the Marketing Department,” I answered with such ease and enthusiasm.
I did not think twice about my response, nor did I blink. I saw the disappointment in her eyes while she saw the puzzlement in mine. When her face cringed at my statement, I tried to recant: “well, it’s not like I don’t want to become the managing director. I just think that this shift makes more sense for now, and I’ll be happier”. I spoke from an honest place. Next, her eyes eased from disappointment to understanding, not because of my re-wording, but because my lack of ambition saddened her according to her standard. She may not have said it in so many words, but her eyes spoke: “Why don’t you want to be the managing director?”
Her reaction got me thinking about the stereotypical perception of success and how to some, it was limited to climbing the ladder and reaching that pinnacle. Why is anything, other than an upward progression, not applauded as much? Why is successful development, more often than naught, linked to status goals? For example, career success is linked more to promotions than job satisfaction. Successful dieting is linked more to weight loss than to developing healthier habits.
I knew I was not wrong for having a distinct perspective to growth and success than the usual: reaching the top. After all, I’ve always been one to chase my happiness no matter where it took me on that growth journey: up that career ladder, same level or lower. To me, life should not be too linear. Nevertheless, the number of people I have had to justify my decisions to was not minute at all.
Besides, the direction of the conversation made me ponder the completely misconstrued way personal development is defined. Personal development and growth take place both vertically and laterally. Whereas vertical growth is ambitious, fulfills goals, and creates triumph, lateral growth tends to expand experience that makes life less bland. While both are necessary and most people shift focus from one to the other, it is unfortunate that cultural fixation links vertical development to success.
I chose lateral growth mainly because I wanted to explore more and realize some of my aspirations. That pinnacle can wait for me. Many disagreed with me, but it seems others thought like me.
The former CEO of Saatchi & Saatchi, Richard Hytner, touched on vertical development in his book, Consiglieri: Leading from the Shadows. He stated, “he had enough of being the No. 1”. When he stepped down, he learned that “There is still an embedded assumption that if you choose to be a No. 2, there’s something wrong with you”. This is exactly how I have been made to feel several times, that there is something wrong with me and that I lack ambition. Whereas with me, being a multipotentialite1 meant knowing there is more to life than just a race to the top. I did not want to neglect the abstract things in life, such as spirituality, passion, and spontaneity. Hytner had a building feeling of discontent as he put it: “There has to be more to life.”
In an attempt to turn the tables, I asked: “why don’t you go for the position?”
Her response shook me: “But you’re the one with all the potential and skills. You’re the one who would do great.”
“Maybe one day.”
I do not know if she understood my view from this very brief exchange or if anyone ever will. But, this cultural fixation with vertical development being better than lateral development is harmful to one’s self-esteem.
Raising to the top comes with a package of requirements: drive, ambition, sense of authority, and power. If that works for you, then great, go for it. If it does not, then do not worry.
She finally asked: “Are you sure about this move?”
My response to her was a resounding “YES.” I was absolutely sure.
Resources:
- https://puttylike.com/terminology/
- https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-leadership/wp/2014/08/11/why-i-didnt-want-to-be-ceo-anymore/
- https://www.siliconrepublic.com/advice/horizontal-move-hays-career
- https://medium.com/swlh/the-career-ladder-why-upwards-is-not-always-the-right-direction-e6b6e8c91ec1
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