The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him the most about humanity, answered “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
I believe there are all kinds of people in this world. Good. Bad. And many in between. Frequently, we meet a different/new kind of person, just when we thought that by now – we have met every kind. Some of them shock us in a bad way and some of them in a good way. I’ve read and heard many times that wisdom comes from accepting that we have no wisdom. I personally believe our values and intentions make us who we are.
When we first meet someone, our mind sees things that our eyes do not. It does calculations so great that it almost knows the person amazingly. What it does though is give us a feeling. Sometimes this feeling is strong, sometimes faint. This depends on one or two things, who the person is and/or how connected we are to our gut feeling.
The result (the feeling) is our instinct telling us something. If this feeling (about the person) is negative, we slowly find that the second or third time around meeting this person, we question our initial judgment, we make excuses, and we shove it under the rug. It’s simple, we don’t want to believe.
Everyone wants new friends, everyone wants love, so we fool ourselves, as human beings often do. After all, we are creatures of emotion, not logic.
And then in time, we find this negative feeling has disappeared. We sense relief. We spend more time with this person and as time goes on- could be weeks, months or years – slowly, we see that this person is either changing or revealing their true colors.
Time reveals all. But they are not changing, are they? We are simply starting to see. We are disappointed, we are hurt, and even though we are, to an extent, shocked, a part of us isn’t entirely surprised. Somewhere deep down, we always knew. But after the second time meeting this person, emotion (of some sort) started to build and do what it does best: clog our judgment. We must never ignore the little voice in our head.
I find that no matter what reputation a person may have, no matter how good they look on paper, no matter how highly people speak of him/her (and all those may be accurate), still, nothing and no one will tell you about a person more or better than your instinct. Trust it. It will never fail you. And if ever, the instinct is faint, well it’s like the Japanese proverb goes: “When character of man is not clear to you, look at his friends.”
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