Our Human Underestimations: Forgiveness

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Exploring the psychology of forgiveness, its roots, and benefits, and then diving into the application of it and the importance of prioritizing the healing of oneself before anything.

Artwork Miriam Koki (Instagram: @mir_madeart, Twitter: @miriamzk3)

When it comes to forgiving, we very often underestimate its power, for the rage that we cage discourages us from creating any new form of opportunity. At times, maybe it is because we are too tired, too over-worn from starting over, as a result of the number of times people have failed us. In this, we are not to blame. But by allowing anger and hurt to take control, and harm us continuously is an unwise and unfair action. Despite our human mind being forcefully occupied with the matter, it is possible for a person to recover from what has already been done.

Forgiveness is for you; it is to you, it is for moving on. It needs to occur even if it has not been asked for, especially when one seeks to experience a better state of wellbeing. By unlocking the chains and giving yourself forgiveness before anyone else is in itself healing. The occurrence of a sudden and overwhelming flood of life, joy, opportunity and optimism will flood every part of your being, as you are recharged by a new chance to start again.

Everything we mentally yearn for most of the time already exists within our interior world. Nonetheless, we are more affected by what surrounds us physically, which is why it is always beneficial to open our ears to what is inside, because when conceptualized, forgiveness can be described as the process of making peace between oneself and life. According to McCullough & Worthington (1999) and Rye et al. (2000) “One mechanism that can interrupt the cyclical nature of avoidance and vengeance is forgiveness—an approach whereby people quell their natural negative responses to transgressors and become increasingly motivated to enact positive ones instead. Many of the world’s religions have articulated the concept of forgiveness for millennia.”

Flowers are often given as a gesture to request an unspoken apology. Their sweet scent and beautiful colors call for forgiveness and a new chance. Photography was taken by Shamsa Al Maktoum, The White Boutique flowers (2018)

 

Through a gradual process, teach yourself to enjoy and practice the act of stepping away from things and people you may encounter that mean nothing but harm to you, because days are only as grey as one allows them to be. If yesterday is heavy, put it down. We are capable of forgiving on a physical, mental and spiritual level no matter the circumstance.

One of the powers of forgiveness is that it gives you the opportunity to start living again the moment you do, and forget the idea of ‘one day.’

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